Which leather option would you choose?

"Manwich - now Keto-Friendly" (manwich)
06/01/2020 at 18:11 • Filed to: None

Let’s say you had two choices of leather interior on a car you’re buying.

The first choice is the deluxe Sperm Whale Penis interior. The only down side is that there is a 6 month wait due to the time it takes to procure the whale penises and COVID-19.

The second choice is the budget Incel Penis interior. With this option, you can have the car ready tomorrow AND they’ll knock $100 off the price of the TruCoat!!!

Which would you pick?

Sidenote: If you decide to pick the cloth interior instead, you’ll get a burlap sack cloth interior mixed with itchy-wool. It’s the option nobody wants.

DISCUSSION (41)

ranwhenparked > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 18:21

T hat does accurately describe the quality of cloth offered in most modern cars. Except maybe for the Toyota Century and the Queen’s Bentley State Limousine.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 18:26

All my leather is Corinthian...

HammerheadFistpunch > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 18:29

man, I’ll take the burlap.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 18:32

I don’t see velour as an option? Perhaps the finely crafted red velour from 1976 ch rysler cordoba ?

Kinja'd!!!

Textured Soy Protein > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 18:33

Ethically speaking the incel leather is the correct choice.

ClassicDatsunDebate > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 18:33

I honor the Eunichs of my court by having their peni fashioned into my steering wheel wrap.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 18:34

Wouldn’t picking the Incel interior be exactly what they want? Can I just have an interior not made from reproductive organs or burlap? I don’t want a hairshirt as my seat but neither do I want scrotum. How about crushed egg shell simulation velour? That still ends animal lives painfully and in excess but is much more agreeable on paper.

jimz > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 18:54

most cloth seating material is one step above burlap anyway, so I’d go with that. Not sure I’m keen on either option of Genuine Plonkerhyde.

Tripper > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 18:55

Burlap for me, I’m impatient but could hold out for the nicer interior. But I draw the line at hurting whales, particularly their penises.

19JRC99 > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 18:58

Hmm.... How about vinyl?

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Tripper
06/01/2020 at 19:03

Good news! The Incel Penis leather interior is 100% whale free.

It’s 100% ethically sourced from Vegan Incels!

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
06/01/2020 at 19:04

Naw man, if you’re going Cordoba you HAVE to get the fine Corinthian leather. Ricardo Mont albán says so.

Kinja'd!!!

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
06/01/2020 at 19:08

The Shorn Scrotum Interior is an ultra premium option that is only available in the high end luxury line that you can’t afford.

Kinja'd!!!

As for the crushed eggshell interior... that’s in development. It won’t be available for another 5 years.

Tripper > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 19:08

*googles incels, chortles.

Guess it’s burlap and people penis for me

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
06/01/2020 at 19:10

Sadly the Fellatio Monk ey Velour option had to be discontinued after the Fellatio Monkeys went extinct.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > HammerheadFistpunch
06/01/2020 at 19:10

Would you like it with or without iron filings?

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish
06/01/2020 at 19:14

You’ll have to buy used for Corinthian since that option had to be discontinued after the old Corinthians all died out.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > 19JRC99
06/01/2020 at 19:16

We had to discontinue that option after vinyl records had a resurgence in popularity.

Chariotoflove > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 19:19

Why do you have to procure COVID-19 with your whale penises to make this upholstery?

A Boy and His Longtail > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 19:30

Dang, I kinda like cloth interiors

Tapas > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 19:36

What’s so wrong with whale penis leather?

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Chariotoflove
06/01/2020 at 19:44

Well we skimped a bit on the labor. The last guy we sent out was a little coughy and wheezy. But due to our great concern for workplace health and safety, we sent him out anyway.

Well, surprise surprise, whales can get COVID-19 as well.I t killed off our usual supply. So the delay i s mainly due to finding a new source... which we think we found in a spot around Alaska. We should get some supply soon. We just have to bribe the right set of state officials and it will be right on its way.

On the bright side, nobody can find the guy we sent out. So that means we will save money on labour and paying benefits... and we can pass those savings on to you... meaning we can knock off an extra $50 on the TruCoat !!!

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 19:45

Good, everyone richer than me can wallow in shorn scrotum while in 5 years I'll show them up with my imitation velour made from compounded chicken babies and their cages.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Tapas
06/01/2020 at 19:46

Nothing! Nothing at all!

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
06/01/2020 at 19:52

Well the velour made from chicken babies is the regular option.

The premium ‘Talisman’ option is made from American Bald Eagle eggs... which is planned for a limited production run until they get back on the Endangered Species list.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 19:55

I want the premium velour made frame baby chickens still inside the eggs before being processed. I might consider the Bald Eagle option if it is made in a similar fashion and inscribed with Eagles song lyrics.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Textured Soy Protein
06/01/2020 at 19:59

I think they would just beg you to go ahead and chop off their most hated appendage. Is that exploitive?

ranwhenparked > Tapas
06/01/2020 at 20:17

Exactly, Aristotle Onassis used it on his yacht’s barstools. And he married Jackie Kennedy and helped her get over a very difficult time in her life - her first husband was killed dammit, leave the two of them alone.

Chariotoflove > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 20:46

But I didn’t order the TruCoat.

Textured Soy Protein > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
06/01/2020 at 23:13

Pretty sure they love their appendages but hate women for not being interested in their appendages, or the rest of them.

Textured Soy Protein > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/01/2020 at 23:16

I’m fairly certain there's little to no overlap between vegans and incels. Not a good Venn diagram to be had there.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Textured Soy Protein
06/01/2020 at 23:17

If they hate themselves enough to shoot up random people then they probably are gluttons for penile pain to justify their misery.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Chariotoflove
06/01/2020 at 23:48

Well we can’t do anything about that... it gets installed at the factory!

pip bip - choose Corrour > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/02/2020 at 05:03

vinyl

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > pip bip - choose Corrour
06/02/2020 at 07:52

Had to discontinue that option due to the resurgence in vinyl record popularity.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/02/2020 at 07:54

in that case, burlap sack it is.

19JRC99 > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/02/2020 at 13:54

Ya know what? Give me bare seat frames. I’ll find my own upholstery, thanks.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > 19JRC99
06/02/2020 at 14:27

Well I’d love to, but I can’t. Like the TruCoat, one of the available options get installed at the factory and there’s nothing we can do about it.

And we already got our supply of burlap, itchy wool and incel penises... if we don’t install it, it’ll cost us more!

19JRC99 > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/02/2020 at 14:33

Fine! I’ll take the damn sack. I’ll just have to have them reupholstered afterward.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > 19JRC99
06/02/2020 at 20:17

Sure... just don’t remove the burlap or it’ll void the powertrain warranty!

19JRC99 > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/02/2020 at 23:58

What the dealership doesn’t know won’t hurt them. I’ll have new seats built and put the burlap ones aside. That way, if it breaks, I’ll just swap ‘em back in and nobody’s the wiser.

(There’s gotta be a loophole somewhere. There always is!)